Fear of Success. Is it real?
- Phil D'Adamo
- Sep 4
- 1 min read
I didn’t think so. Surely success breeds success?
But in a recent coaching session with a client, I realised I may have been confusing 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 with 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴.
This excellent article by 𝘔𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘒𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘦 𝘝𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 shifted my perspective. His point: for some people, success doesn’t feel like triumph — it feels like danger.
• When self-esteem is secure, success brings confidence.
• When self-esteem is brittle, success feels threatening. More might be expected of them, and the cost of failure would feel catastrophic.
To protect themselves, they procrastinate, avoid, or even sabotage opportunities. Promotions declined. Projects abandoned. Possibilities unlived.
I’ve seen this in high-potential staff — bright, capable people reluctant to take the next step. And sometimes leaders unintentionally make success feel like a burden and a risk — more visibility, more workload, more pressure and they leave.
Which raises questions for leaders and coaches:
• How do we support those who respond to success differently?
• Is this the realm of therapy, or does leadership and coaching also play a role?
The article’s conclusion is powerful:
“𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 — 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.”
As for me — I’m convinced. Fear of success is real. And from now on, I’ll be asking my coaching clients: “What if you succeed?”
👉 What’s your take? Have you seen this in your world?
